I was consulting the page in my diary containing details of the 500 things to be done before Christmas, this being Christmas Eve, when a colleague leaned across and asked in a conspiratorial whisper, if I was a list maker.  A whisper, sir?  This is a habit to be shouted from the rooftops; your list maker is a person to be praised above all men/women/etc.

We then had a very pleasant conversation exchanging list making tips and habits.  Do you carry over uncompleted tasks to the next list? Yes.  Sometimes for days or weeks on end.  Do you add on things you have done that were not on the list in the first place?  Obviously. Then tick them off?  Of course!

Sadly the rest of the room was listening in a manner that suggested that immediate sectioning under the Mental Health Act should be the very next item on the agenda. Oh, foolish doubters.  There must somewhere be a list of the most brilliant people in the history of the universe who have all been passionate list makers because it is the way to success, order, tranquillity, satisfaction.  (Must make a definitive  of good things about list making …)

Some of you may be familiar with the device used by television presenters where the words they are about to say unroll before them, projected onto the front of the camera.  TelePrompt, Autocue, other brands are available.  Cue endless scope for larks to amuse bored crew by inserting the odd completely random word or operating it at an ever increasing/decreasing pace.  The latter once memorably happened when the girl winding the machine became transfixed by the sight of a cameraman, who had unwisely partaken of a rather liquid supper, urinating into a waste paper bin held by a  Scene-hand.   Could the snowflake generation have handled this situation with such creative aplomb?  I think not.  Even the newscaster was a little discombobulated by it, despite years of exposure to high jinx on air.

This leads us onto Eddie Stobart, a man clearly after my own heart, who has produced a hefty booklet containing the names, Home Depots and registration numbers of all his lorries, which booklet to be kept in the car at all times for ticking off sightings.  What bliss, with the added bonus that it provides a way to occupy Sluice Nurse on long journeys when her lemming-like directional abilities are not required.  Which is always and heartfelt thanks to Staff Nurse for coming up with the idea.

And now onwards with a happy heart to commence work on the 500 tasks to be done after Christmas, which starts with untangling the five lengths of fairy lights ripped off the tree with somewhat reckless haste by Elder Son and left on the sitting room floor in a Gordian knot.  At least two hours of mind-numbing work required –  I think that deserves a double tick.  Possibly three.  What a perfect start to 2019.  Happy New Year, reader.