Men. Dont  read this before breakfast because it will give you indigestion and raise your blood pressure.  I am today a type far from unknown to many of you; a woman in full rant mode.

First a disclaimer.  I do not hate all the men in the world; some of my best friends are men, decent men do exist (I could probably even name a couple if pushed) but what the hell is wrong with the rest of them?

My normal level of deep apathy about most things has been breached this week by the story of the behaviour of men supposedly working for a charitable organisation in Haiti.  The country had been devastated and off the top of my head I expect the survivors wanted medical aid, food and clean water.  Perhaps eventually sanitation and housing. What they got was corruption and so-called aid workers paying a dollar a time to have sex with their children whilst simultaneously  issuing sanctimonious statements about third world poverty and colonialism.

How much longer are women going to tolerate this?  Harvey Weinstein, Presidents Parties and now even the self styled do- gooders.  In Margaret Atwood book ‘The Handmaids Tale’ she writes of a futuristic society where the state controls all the few remaining fertile women.  My advice, gents, is to get a move on with an improvement movement because it occurs to me, and I cannot be alone, that given we already have sperm banks our need for men to exist AT ALL is up for debate.

Imagine, Ladies, a world where you didn’t have to park your car somewhere you felt safe to return to after dark.  Where people didn’t constantly interrupt you, push ahead of you in queues, cut you up in traffic. Where you could get into a railway carriage without checking if your only fellow passenger was a dodgy looking male.  Where you could confidently leave your window open on a hot night without it being seen at a future trial as an obvious invitation to be raped.  And this is in 21st century Britain.  If I were to list the restrictions on women in other countries it would bring the internet grinding to a halt and  for the life of me I don’t remember signing up for the whole world to be run for the convenience of men.  Maybe it’s time for a bit of a re-think.

I was in a black cab the other day where the driver was giving us, his very captive audience, the benefits of his thoughts on Uber.  (An alternative taxi service that isn’t ridiculously over-priced and given to boring it’s passengers to death with its adolescent philosophy). My female companion, far too polite for her own good, did nothing to discourage him, the words ‘I wonder if you could possibly shut the f**k up?’ not springing as readily to her lips as they would to mine but bear in mind, lots of us HAVE had enough and increasingly ARE prepared to say so.

Sort yourselves out, men.  Make acting like a caveman as unacceptable as smoking indoors.  Be aware, very aware, that time is not on your side.