My decision to leave the Christmas decorations up is now vindicated as tomorrow the clocks go back and we are yet again plunged into the long, dark night of the soul. Winter not my favourite season you’re guessing but at least I won’t be wobbling about on a ladder with the tinsel.

Before I retreat under the duvet with the sloe gin (No concession for the change of season, you’ll note) I had hoped to delight you with the shenanigans at a wedding I went to last week.  Nothing like a family occasion for a rich source of copy in my experience.  I once arrived at my local to find the doors bolted because all out war was happening inside at a christening party.

Excellent!  So it was with a spring in my step that I set off for the nuptials which had all the elements in place for a complete disaster.  Plenty of ex husbands and lovers, accompanied by suspiciously attractive new partners with Rent-a-Date written all over them,  squabbling siblings, unwelcome guests and lashings of booze.  There was even a steep set of stairs down to the dining room with a surface slippery enough for ice skating.  Bring on the broken bones!  And the father of the bride was overweight and scarlet faced.  Fingers crossed for a defibrillator incident for a grand finale.

The mother of the bride had not touched, not been in the room with, solid food for months and two weeks before the wedding had still not decided on an outfit.  There was even an especially low moment when she floated the idea of a perm.  She swept in looking so amazing that there was a clang as our jaws met the glassy floor.

In fact everything was perfect.  It stopped raining so we could drink champagne in the garden.  The photographs didn’t take hours.  The bridesmaids had beautiful dresses.

My last chance for a story was the bride and groom but nothing doing.  She had organised everything with terrifying precision, even providing dozens of pairs of flip flops for when we failed to squeeze back into our new shoes after dinner but did she look haggard and stressed? No readers, she looked radiant and calm and the groom clearly adores her.  They may just live happily ever after.  I hope so.