We are within days of the Great Adventure: The Lakes and I must say that even Chairman Mao could not have been more greatly blessed on his Long Walk by his choice of Quartermaster. Staff Nurse has risen, nay, soared like an eagle to embrace the task and sends me the following:

Dear Matron,

As your car will be filled with gin and wine, I thought it prudent to order other supplies online and avoid wasting drinking time at the local co-op.  I enclose a sample day’s menu.

Breakfast: Frosted Flakes, long life milk, Nesquik

Lunch: Tesco every day value tinned spaghetti with sausages

Dinner: Heinz tinned tomato soup, Fray Bentos steak and kidney pies, McCain’s oven chips followed by that old school favourite, Gipsy Tart.

Ritz crackers with Dairy Lea triangles and Primula cheese spread.  (No doubt you will be impressed that I am following the advice in your blog and only serving two cheeses).

There will be a choice of Tango or Irn Bru to accompany the gin.

Horlick or Ovaltine at bedtime.

I replied as follows:

Dear Staff Nurse,

My heart positively swelled with pride on reading your email, and not just because of your, albeit belated, mastery of the punctuation mark. Those snooty interferers at the Guardian should have sight of this.  One hears so much moaning from the metropolitan elite about waste in the NHS and here is clear evidence that the 33s 11d expended on your nutrition training in 1943 was not spent in vain and how very cheering it is that there is no sign of the wretched kale and quinoa that is always being thrust down our throats.  I’d rather have a spotted dick any day of the week!

Apart from the gin (sloe and regular) and red wine, which I hope will do justice to your gourmet menus, I shall make space for one of my award winning quiches and a couple of cakes.  This may mean that the junior nurse is consigned to the roof rack but you will be with me in making food hygiene a top priority.

Preparation complete.  Forward, women!

(If you are unfamiliar with that classic of Kentish cuisine, the Gipsy Tart,  I urge you to find the recipe online.  It was a robust reaction to the wartime rationing of sugar).