Time again to dip the bucket of opportunity into the bottomless well of knowledge.  The world appears to be in the grip of an epidemic of insomnia and your hearts will be fluttering at the thought that help is at hand.  I offer a number of the more usual solutions; work harder, drink more at bedtime (Whisky, not cocoa.  We’re all over seven.)  or take sleeping pills.  Sadly melatonin is now banned in this country but when available (Only on prescription in Australia, or in any corner shop in America) induces the sleep of a contented baby, were there to be such a thing.

However there is a New Line! And incidentally did you hear the brilliant piece on Radio 4 about the exclamation mark? (Only on British Radio would such a thing draw a delighted audience;  yet another reason to be proud of the BBC. I may even have gleaned this top tip from that very source, or was it The Sporting Post? Whatever).

The way forward is dates.  Not of the romantic version, or a routine appointment with the dentist, but the fruit.  Actually this is a good time to mention that my dental staff are in disgrace.  I write several hundred words of glowing praise about their knowledge of bacterial mutation only to discover they haven’t bothered to read it.  Floss 500 times as a punishment.

Dates.  And almonds, the nuts.  Three of the former and a handful of the latter to be eaten at breakfast time et voila! Why it would work I cannot imagine but it does.  I have had to start setting an alarm to ensure I don’t sleep through lunch.  Get Ocado to rush round with supplies this very morning and order those ‘Thank You’ flowers for me.  Henceforth I shall be posting this blog much later in the day, possibly even on Sundays.

Let me leave you with another Thought for the Day.  Come on shore and we will kill and eat you all.  Not a warning for maritime travellers but the somewhat wordy and unlikely title of my latest reading matter, recommended by a very trusted literary advisor.  According to the back cover it is, and I promise this is an accurate quote, ‘a sensitive and vibrant portrayal …of an unlikely romance’.  I can’t wait to start.