“Loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous combination”.  Words of such profound wisdom that I am tempted to claim them as my own but the quote actually comes from ‘The Simpsons’, source of much of my philosophy.  Not half as risky, however, as any national holiday and my quiz team.

Welcome to this week’s cause for celebration – St Patrick’s Day.  Today’s Readers Challenge: In not less than 500 words compare and contrast that statement with the mischief offered by a mixture of St Patrick’s Day, an England/Ireland Grand Slam rugby final and eight heavy drinkers. Thesaruses may be consulted to avoid the overuse of madness, mayhem and anarchy.

As always on these occasions we have a mini quiz and I was sorely tempted to take along the recently issued minutes of The Committee (Only the first 500 pages) and in the spirit of ‘Where’s Wally’ offer a prize to anyone who could spot anything interesting, or remotely interesting to give more demanding players a chance.

In an entrepreneurial mood I wondered about translating them into Russian and selling them as a long lost Dostoyevsky novel, one of his less cheerful offerings.  The possibilities are endless, a bit like the meeting.

It was a marvellous lunch, there was even hot food, and I was an early returner to the subs bench when I left at 8.30pm.

Apparently the Remainers ( A far more cheery band than the Europhiles of the ilk) carried on until 3.30 am, allegedly playing Mah Jong.  An unlikely scenario given that by the time I retired hurt they were incapable of even saying ‘Snap’, never mind playing something foreign.

Next day saw the time honoured tradition of flowers and a heart-felt, remorse-filled thank you card.  And that’s FROM the hostess. I myself apologised but with the caveat that I think the neighbours reaction to the unfortunate, and wholely unplanned, incident involving their hanging baskets was a complete over-reaction.  You’d think they’d be pleased at the de-escalation of damage, given what happened last year.

Still, in vino veritas, as the French say, it was a pleasant surprise to discover that the dress I ordered online shortly after lunch  (Monday? Tuesday?) arrived and was lovely. And my size.  And cost less than £5000.   Why, oh why, don’t they fit iPads with a breathalyser?

As to the title of this week’s offering it comes from a memorable moment at a previous lunch when a guest referred to the use of margarine in cooking and stated with great, if somewhat slurred conviction “That would be by Protestants.”  Bet you didn’t know that cows were Catholics?