It gives me no pleasure, dear reader, to disappoint you.  I picture all too vividly your eager eyes pinging open on Saturdays and doubtless your very first thought is my blog. So sweet if a little needy.

Today brings good news and bad.  The bad is there will be no blog, technically, much in the same way that there will be a wall in America.  Are you as crestfallen as you were at the Oscars?  Reasons to follow in section marked Good News, definitely not in a stupid envelope.

Incidentally in the five hours I was hanging about at my place of business yesterday, waiting for someone to commit a crime worthy of my attention, I explained to my colleagues my own brilliant (Aren’t  they all?) wall-related plan – to turn the M25 into a solid barrier between the United Kingdom and the Republic of London.  To keep everyone except us out, I hope I need hardly add.

One person hanging on my every word had first come to England at 18 to explore university options.  Doubtless in a fog of youthful ignorance she decided to start with Hull.  It would be cruel to laugh.  Arriving there by train, she opened the carriage door, took one deep lungful of fish gutting and went away again.  As always people, first impressions just so important.  Even twenty years later the memory lingered. She was totally in favour of work starting immediately.

But now onto the positive stuff.  I am too busy to write as I prepare to go away for the weekend, actually till Tuesday, at the newly fashionable Shoreditch on Sea that is Hastings, staying at the Zanzibar Hotel which is supposed to be amazing.  It had better be.  Details will be shared with my 68,000 TripAdvisor followers as soon as I sober up

I shall be spending time with the two  somewhat wayward ladies who were involved with the unfortunate kipper-flavoured doughnut incident at the Bar Italia.  (Scroll down to October, it’s still there) and catching up with a number of local ne’er-do-wells from my misspent youth.  Mayhem is anticipated.

And if you’re good and don’t moan about this week’s offering,  I’ll tell you all about it.