Normally it gives me no pleasure to be, yet again, in the right as it generally means that the disaster that I have accurately predicted (Do no revision and you will definitely fail that exam) has come to pass.  With my Oscar predictions however, I am going to make an exception and relish the moment.

Revenant didn’t win its much predicted Best Film award because it clearly wasn’t which is far from saying that Spotlight was.  I suspect it triumphed because by Hollywood standards of morality Catholics are pretty much up there with Nazis as baddies.  You are on pretty safe ground disliking them, especially as they all live on the East a Coast.  Leonardo got his Best Actor Oscar weeks before he would have qualified for a Lifetimes Achievement booby prize and you’d have to be stony hearted to begrudge it.  It must give hope to Kate Winslet, the eternal bridesmaid, although not in real life with her bizarrely named husband number 3.

Mad Max: Fury Road, my own tip,  got no less than 6 Oscars.  How does that not make it the best film?  Do the maths.  And well done Brie Larson (The Room) and Alicia Vikander (The Danish Girl)  and Mark Rylance (Bridge of Spies) who won as I said they should.

Given my success rate I should have put money on the results which is exactly what I have done with the American elections.  Normally, like any sane person, I steer well clear of politics and betting shops which both relentlessly attract the less salubrious elements of society, if that’s not being too harsh on bookmakers.

i have decided on the next President if the USA using that rarer than rhino horn ability – common sense – and here’s how my thinking works.  After two terms of a Democrat who himself had to remind voters that he was not actually born in a manger, America is ready for a change.  He proved to be as disappointing as Lucifer and Tony Blair which leads the desperate voter to Trump.  Yes, that desperate!  Even a nation who elected Nixon KNOWING that his nickname was Tricky Dickie for God’s sake, and Ronald Reagan ALTHOUGH it meant years of Nancy as First Lady (Almost as popular as Cherie) and 2, yes 2 members of the Bush family, even these people will not put Trump in the White House.  Backwoods and backwards as they are as a nation there must be enough people with the intelligence to see that they would become a global laughing stock, even if he doesn’t choose Sarah Palin as a running mate, and I wouldn’t put it past him.

Perhaps someone Scottish can explain how they managed to persuade their voters not to commit suicide, or Putin might take pity and let them have some left over plutonium.  Or not. Just try to imagine the grin on his face.

For me there remains only one possible contender.  Step forward Mr Rubio.  He was not that well known when I placed my bet – the young man at the bookies asked if he was a contestant on something called The Voice – but the odds were surprisingly short.  Possibly I am not the first person to work this out.  He has a lot in his favour: he’s not a Democrat, tick, he’s not a woman, tick, he’s young, tick and best of all he’s not The Donald.  Add to this his Hispanic connections in a country where 25% have Spanish as a first language and might not want a wall across Mexico and I think we have a winner.  You know you can trust me.